I hope everyone is doing well! The MTC is nothing like it seems it would be....It has been extremely hard but worthwhile at the same time. From the moment I stepped on the MTC curb it has been GO, GO, GO. It never stops! I am exhausted both physically and spiritually. My brain feels like it is going to explode because of all the knowledge I am gaining here! ;) It seems as though the only thing that keeps me from going insane is gym time. But I don't get that everyday, so the days that I don't get it are extremely hard. Having gym time helps me focus on getting a good workout in, rather than stressing out, and feeling like "WHAT AM I DOING HERE? I CAN'T DO THIS!!".... The feelings of inadequacy are hard to stop. At times I feel like I really can't do this. I especially feel that I am not good enough. The thing that nobody realizes is WHAT a missionary truly is. We don't realize that a Missionary REPRESENTS Jesus Christ. After all," the first Missionary Companionship was Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ". (Richard J. Maynes from the Presidency of the Seventy- he come on Tuesday to speak to us at a devotional) They came to Joseph Smith as an answer to his prayer, and taught him the things he needed to do to come closer to God. They (along with Moroni) also taught him how he would be able to restore the true church in this last dispensation. This is a "heavy" title to have. I am representing Jesus Christ and my job is to LOVE the investigators and to "teach" by the Holy Ghost. I put "teach" in quotation marks because I really shouldn't be the Teacher- the teacher IS the Holy Ghost, as stated in the Missionary Purpose: My job is to invite others to come unto Christ by HELPING them receive the restored gospel through Faith in Jesus Christ and His Atonement, Repentance, Baptism, Receiving the gift of the Holy Ghost, and enduring to the end." The main thing I have learned here is that I can help others come unto Christ by asking inspired questions. The whole idea is to cater the lessons to the Investigator, and to not teach what we want to teach! As we do this the spirit will testify to them, and they will want to hear more, and eventually the will want to be Baptized because the truthfulness of it will be given to them.

Now to my companions! I am in a "tri-companionship"! Let's just say.....that is one of the things that I really didn't want to happen. Whenever there is an odd number of people, I always get left out and that is just how it goes....Now, what I didn't realize until yesterday, was that I wasn't even supposed to be in a group of three! My original MTC companion for some reason decided not to serve or couldn't come at this time so they put me with two other girls. This has been EXTREMELY hard for me, and I think part of that reason is that I had a bad attitude about it in the first place. I would have had a much better experience if I would have just accepted the fact that at times I might feel like I am left out but they don't mean to. My companions are Sister Neal (19 years old), and Sister Denison (24 years old)- they are SPIRITUAL GIANTS it feels like! Sister Neal portrays the excitement that is felt when we receive the gospel, and Sister Denison just has a way with words. However, it is at times extremely hard to speak my voice in this companionship. As Sister Denison says, "They bouldoze (spelling?....) over me". I am not a TALKATIVE person in the first place, and when I talk it seems as though what I say is never good enough. Sister Denison seems to say, no and at times I get sick of being told that what I have to say and contribute isn't good enough. Now, with all this said I LOVE my companions. It is really like being with your "blood" siblings so you get along with them, and are fine one minute and the next minute you just want to be left alone! I think the hardest thing about a companionship is I am NEVER Alone!! I mean you have to go to meals together, go to the bathroom together, do the same thing at gym pretty much....Now, you probably are thinking after that rant how is she going to do this for 18 months! However, things have gotten a little bit better, and I AM sticking up for myself (even though at times I still get "run over").... The thing I am learning with having companion(s) is that you really have to cooperate- and make sure you are listening to everyone, and you really have to be guided by the spirit.

Now, the spirit here is INCREDIBLE! It is truly my constant "companion" here, and I am grateful for that. It seems as though in anything you do you can feel the Holy Ghost. This is amazing because to me it really tells me that this church true! I wouldn't be feeling the spirit this much and so strong if it were not true! I have had many amazing experiences with the Holy Ghost here but one that was truly incredible happened yesterday in Zone Teaching. We had to sit by someone that isn't in our District and we don't know that well. So I decided to sit by Sister Stanbury (From England!) Our goal was to talk to the person as a Missionary (not as an Investigator which we usually do....because of all the ROLE PLAYS we do!) We were given the topic of Repentance and our goal was to ask inspired questions. I HAVE NO IDEA what I said, I know God was putting words in my mouth because she truly TAUGHT HERSELF. I just kind of "guided" the conversation if that makes sense...she started to cry and she taught me too. I felt the spirit so strongly and I am glad Heavenly Father gave me that opportunity to truly be his mouthpiece.

Now I could go on and on about the experiences I am having but you are probably bored by now and I really need to get going....but if I could advise all of you to do one thing it would be to "Replace Fear with Faith" (Maynes). I hope that no matter what obstacle or challenge you are facing in your life right now you move forward with Faith and do the best you can! KNOW THAT GOD IS ALWAYS WITH YOU, and I am praying for all of you! I LOVE YOU ALL, and hope to hear from all of you!

Also shout out to my cousin Andy and his fiancee Kadee! I hope you had an AMAZING experience at the temple last week, and I hope to GET LOTS of pictures from your wedding on saturday! :) Wish you best!! :)